Reunions And Squirrels
by RandomDustBunnyzAngel
Summary: A sure stupid parody type thing -that is only a parody because it fits into no other category- for chap 498. Don't like bad jokes? Don't read.


**There be monkey's in mah computer, you ever get **_**that**_** Internet server thing?..Anyway this weeks chapter was sweet and I liked it, even though I HATE flashback chapters. At least now we know WHY Naruto likes orange so much...*slurps lemon-aid***

**WARNINGS: OOC=ness, blah ,Foul Language, I'm going to TRY to make this one better than the last one..Seriously..Last one SUCKED! Except for the birth of Kurenai's kid...Who I have named Carlos...OH and I'm going to TRY to write rap/blues in this, don't hold your breath.**

**PAIRINGS: ...I'm still open to idea's here!**

**Ps: Sorry this is long- Thank you OctobersAutumn, Yuti chan, SilverWolfStar-**

**QueenOfFanFicWorldLoveGunner and Princess Zathura for the happy early birthdays they gave me ^-^. So you guys get Pocky! -hands out pocky-.**

**I don't own NARUTO, Masashi Kishimoto does, I also don't own That song from the Lion king.**

**0o0o0o0o0o0o**

Naruto and a red haired woman stood eye to eye with each other, ones face held a look of trepidation, the other one of joy.

"Who are you, what are you doing here?," The gennin asked, clenching his fists at his sides.

"Why don't you try and guess?," The woman let out an evil laugh, "Figured it out?,"

..That's supposed to be a clue?

Naruto crossed his arms "...Kyuubi's true form?," Good guess.

The red head twitched, "IDIOT!," her fist collided with the top of the blonds head, making him whine.

A nice firm punch is this family's way of saying hello!

Naruto blinked, and rubbed his head, watching the woman nervously scratch the back of hers, "Sorry I've always been like that,"

You know if you weren't older than her I'd say you were Sakura's much cooler sister.

Kushina placed her hands on her hips, "Man Minato didn't tell you anything did he?, Kami-sama If he wasn't already dead I would kill him myself," Oh violent, "..Yeah I'm your mom,"

"Y-you're my mom?,"

Yes Naruto this is your mother...A hundred thousand sperm in her womb and _you _were the aftermath.

"Oi Like not cool!," Fine, fine I'll be quiet, "Well alright then,"

The blond let out an emotional sigh, and embrassed the red head, "I never thought I'd meet you," he sniffed, tears rolled down his cheeks, " I have so much that I want to talk about!,"

"Yeah let's have a nice long talk, but let's leave the Kyuubi out of it," But he-, Kushina cleared her throat, FINE!, "I split my chakra with your fathers, in order to create the seal..We wanted to help you as much as possible,"

Yeah cause, NOT sealing it into your child, would have been SUCH a stretch, and I'm shutting up so don't hit me.

Somewere on the other side of Naruto's mind (...NO comment) the demon gasped and pulled against his chains, as his chakra..Returned or dissapeared or something that will probably make this fight end in Chaos "Kushina," he growled.

"Good...Now what would you like to know?," Kushina asked, flashing a big grin, "I'm open to answering any questions you have son,"

Naruto nodded, "Great cause I have two questions I've been dying to ask you!," You've known her for Three pages yet you already came up with questio-never mind, "One...Where do babies come from?,"

. . .

"W-what?," The red head jumped, shocked by the question.

Naruto stiffled a laugh, "Calm down it was just a joke,"

"O-oh, thank goodness," Kushina gave a laugh of releaf, "If you were serious I'd have to give you the tape," How you were made starring Kushina, MInato and Jirayia. Ha, giggedy. "Ahem Now what was your real question?,"

"..How did you and dad meet?," Naruto's laughes quieted down

"Heheh it's soooo embarassing!,"

"Please I've always wanted to know!," If always means six minutes.

"I remember it like it was yesturday," Kushina drifted off into one of the few non retarded flashbacks in this series,

_A little girl with red hair dressed in the usual ninja attire, fishnet's and paper cloth, was ushered into a class room by a teacher with a speach bubble for a head._

"It happened on the first day of class I had just finnished my introduction when I saw him...The most adorable little chibi Bishi sitting in the ba-middle,"

_A little blond boy stared off into the distance 'I wonder what mom packed for my lunch today, oh crap the teacher's going to make me talk to the girl' he thought._

"It was your dad he was soooo cute!, I wasn't sure at first," Sure about what?, "But when the teacher called his name he stood up and-,"

_"My name is Minato Namikaze, I like making friends and gardening with my mom!, My hobby is cooking and my dream is to become Hokage and spread love around the world!," Little Minato smiled._

"From that moment I knew your father was my destined one, So naive and innocent! the perfect little bit- Ahem, the perfect man," Chibi OwO, " The other half of my soul!..But then I noticed your friend Shikamaru's mother in the back, since I was the new kid, I knew I didn't stand a chance against her If I was going to get your dad then I had to fight my way into his heart!,"

_The little Kushina clenched her fists and did some weird movement with her face, "My name is Kushina Uzumaki and I'm going to kill you if you don't back the hell off bitch!," she yelled, at a little black/brown headed girl that was spinning her hair around her index finger._

_The little Minato flinched and the little girl sniffled and ran off crying, "..Oh and I would like to be the first lady Hokage," Kushina added in sweetly._

"After a while people started making fun of me because of my hair, So I decided to squash them like insects!..That's how I got the nickname 'The Bloody Habenaro'," I didn't even know they had those back then.

Naruto gave a nervous laugh, '_Now I know why Shika and Kiba are scared of their moms,' _he thought as his mother continued her story.

"Then one day, the hidden cloud village kidnapped me, You see my chakra is very special," Of course it is, "and they wanted it very much,"

_Two tall Cloud shinobi walked along side the little Chibi Kushina,_

_"_As they were marching me away, I pulled out my hair to leave a trail behind us," You know there's a disease that causes this, "I was very careful not to be seen,"

_A little Minato darted through the trees following the path of bright red hair,_

_"_Minato was the only one to pick up the trail..He was the only one to notice the firey red path, As he held me he said he had noticed my beautiful hair right away," So Minato has a hair fetish interesting.

"from that moment on I loved my hair, and Minato,"

_Minato held the red head Bridal style as he stood on the very top of a pine tree, birds flew up around them._

That was the...Corniest story I've ever heard. But it was sweet

"You take after me, but you got your dad's hair,"

"Really?, I think I would look just as good with your hair," Naruto poked his chin in thought.

If Naru-baka had red hair, I bet Sasuke would like it, you'd look like a tomato.

"Dattebayo I'm gonna reach my dream and be the Orange Hokage," Dude why don't you pick a nicer non blinding color.

"Hey my son happens to have very good taste in clothes," Kushina huffed.

Yeah if he's an Electrician or a Traffic cone.

"You little witch,"

So let's switch over to the two old guys outside, since they had one line each this chapter.

The eight tailed host and the ex ANBU sat far, far, far away from Naruto's body, on a stairwell.

Yamato played a harmonica in a very old timy blues fashion, tapping his foot.

"Oh his life was full of drama," Killerbee sniffled, "Hard, and full of karma..But now he has his momma!,Yeah he has his momma!,"

Oh yeeeeaaaaah *holds up lighter*

**(With Sasuke- blegh)**

"Can't believe that jackass did that to me," The young Uchiha wandered through the halls, his bandages were removed earlier that day, Revealing his brand new Eternal Sharingan, it had a partern similar to Itachi's but the colors were reversed.

Not to mention the tiny little flowers that sat were his pupils once did.

"It's his fault I know it is," Sasuke spat, his words were aimed at the Elder Uchiha that was probably brooding about Kabu-maru atop his statue at the valley's end, "He altered Itachi's sharingan to make me look ridiculous,"

**"Yeah you keep thinking that,"** Black Zetsu muttered fazing out of the wall, **"How are you **_SO sure it was Madara-sama that did it?,"_

_**"Maybe it was Itachi,"**_

"And maybe Kishimoto will blame Naruto's horrible fashion sense on his parents combined hair color,"

_**"True..Kishimoto's logic isn't THAT screwed up,"**_

(BIG LIPPED ALIGATOR MOM-Please this entire chapter was a Big lipped aligator moment)

(**Random Character insert)**

Lee glided through the forest of Konoha, happily humming away as he searched for his team mates and much loved Sensei. (yeah he's off the island since he hasn't been shown in forever)

That is until a small , very familiar, furry critter caught his eye making him stop , "Oh Youth it is nice to see you again!," he greeted the animal.

Yes it was Youth, the poor little squirrel -That was nearly blown into a million pieces- Lee had saved during the Chuunin exams

'Youth' haulted his nawing on the acorn he held, staying completely still as the Blue beast of Konoha rambled on and on about what he was doing, and were he was going.

'_Oh bugger not him again' _ The squirrel thought, in a British accent..I don't know why.

"So what have you been up to my little friend?," Lee asked excitedly.

'_Well I think I may have left the gas on,' _Youths ear twitched, '_..No that's impossible I'm a fucking squirrel' _he popped his acorn in his mouth, and ran up the tree, '_Now if you'll excuse me I need to go trade this for a Grapefruit,'_

Lee waved his hand at the retreating animal, "Goodbye Youth!,"

"LEE!," Gai's voice was heard.

"GAI SENSEI!," The bowl headed boy yelled back to his mentor, "I am here!,"

The handsome beast of the Leaf caught up to his student, "Lee what are you doing out here?," he asked, sounding more Over-The-Top than usual.

"Oh I ran into Youth, I just finnished my farewells!,"

A look of shock passed over Gai's face, "SAID FAREWELL TO YOUTH!, Oh my dear boy you need more training!,"

"YES SIR!,"

**(In heaaaaaven)**

Hidan, Izuna, Orochimaru, Danzo and Yahiko all watched the newest member of their very exclusive group, and the older resident sit on the edge of a cliff (This is heaven don't ask were it came from).

_**"Can you feel the love tonight?**_

_**The peace the evening brings**_

_**The world for once in perfect, harmony**_

_**with all it's living things,"**_

"That is so gross," Hidan blanched, '_Yet I can't take my eyes off of them'_

I think it's sweet ^-^.

"Yes it is very sweet, why don't we give them some time alone?," Izuna stated trying to wave off the others that watched in disgust.

*THACK* The Uchiha stopped and looked back at the two, "YOU COULDN'T EVEN MENTION ME YOU IDIOT?," Kushina screeched, her fist still extended over Minato's head.

"HE PUNCHED ME AFTER THE FIRST TWO SECONDS WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY?," The man rubbed his abused melon.

"Oh I don't know how about 'You know your mother was very pretty' something, _ANYTHING _like that!,"

"Maybe we should go," Fugaku mumbled.

eh you can go I'm staying I've always wanted to see a main protagonist character from this series get his ass kicked (_1)_

"Then why don't you help Tomato head beat the crap out of the lightning bug?,"

I'm a bleeder not a fighter.

**0o0o0o0o0o0**

**END**

_(1). Aside from Asuma, Sarutobi, and Jiraiya. RIP_

**;w; Gah I epically FAIL..Period -.-;.. Okay enough self loathing. I Luv's Chibi's!, the only good thing about character origin flashbacks is you get to see them when they're little, super Kawaii Desu ^-^.**

**Thank you for reading, Ja~!**

**'Dedicated to Demon RIP, You were a good boy'**


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